Recipe: Snack Oil Scallion Focaccia

(aka edible pillow of chili joy)

time: ~90 min active, 4 hr total

vibe: oily, blistered, vaguely heretical

yield: 1 sheet-pan you will “accidentally” finish

ingredients

dough (lazy method, don’t overthink it):

• 3 ¾ cups all-purpose flour

• 2 tsp kosher salt

• 2 tsp sugar

• 1 packet instant yeast (2 ¼ tsp)

• 1 ½ cups warm water

• ¼ cup olive oil (this is structural, not flavor)

topping (the fun part):

• ⅓–½ cup DOU Snack Oil (go hard or go home)

• 4–5 scallions, sliced obscenely thin on the bias

• 2 cloves garlic, microplaned

• flaky salt

• optional chaos:

  • thin-sliced yukon golds

  • halved castelvetrano olives

  • shaved parm

  • sesame seeds (to echo the oil)

  • a few anchovy slivers if you’re a real one

method

1. mix the dough

   in a big bowl: flour, salt, sugar, yeast. add warm water + olive oil. stir til shaggy. the dough should look like it just woke up and hates you. cover and rest 10 min.

2. fold a bit

   wet your hand and do 4–6 “stretch + folds” around the bowl. don’t overdo it. cover and let rise 1–2 hrs until doubled.

3. pan it

   pour 2–3 tbsp of SNACK OIL into a 9x13 or half-sheet. dump dough in. flip it so both sides are slick. rest 30 min, then dimple it aggressively with fingertips. think: angry cloud massage.

4. topping bomb

   mix scallions + garlic + another big pour of SNACK OIL. spoon it over the dough, letting the oil pool into the dimples. sprinkle flaky salt + any optional chaos you desire (potato slices are S-tier).

5. second rise

   30–40 min, uncovered. the scallions should start looking smug.

6. bake

   450°F for 20–25 min. edges should be crispy-bronze; the scallion bits should be frizzled but not carbonized. if you want extra crunch, broil 1–2 min at the end (don’t ghost it).

7. finish

   drizzle a final ribbon of SNACK OIL while it’s hot. resist the urge to bite into it immediately unless you enjoy roof-of-mouth trauma.

serving notes (bc you’re extra)

• slice into squares and dip into more snack oil + black vinegar.

• use it as the base for a mapo-tofu focaccia sandwich (unhinged, exquisite).

• top w/ soft scrambled eggs for breakfast and ascend to a higher plane.